2 in 1
This post is going to combine my past 2 days, seeing that I don’t think I will have access to the internet tomorrow.
On Friday, I spent most of the morning at the hotel ( since my plans fell through again.. hope your ok cousin max), and I spent most of my time in the sun.. little did I know just how strong the African sun was! I am so red. Especially my nose- you can see just where my glasses were sitting. Mom joined me for lunch after her second lecture at the Medical school. The rest of the afternoon was a quiet one. One of my Bobba and Zaida’s friends came by the hotel for a quick visit- Bill. He was so nice. I remember him and his wife quite distinctly, and it was nice to see him again.
After chatting with Bill, our cousin Ian ( it was the first time I met him) picked us up from the hotel, and we headed to our other cousin’s magnificent house, Sheba. There, we met up with even more cousins! Uncle Bernard and Daphne joined us (they are just the sweetest couple- Uncle Bernard always refers to her as his fiance, and they’ve been together for 16 years, though they still haven’t set the date yet.. too sweet), along with Ruth (Sheba’s younger daughter) and some of her friends, Jonny ( Sheba’s ex husband, who is still considered as part of our family- he’s also a succesful actuary who’s a role model for Josh!), our other cousins Gerald and Audrey. We had a very nice shabbat all together. Sheba’s house is absolutely incredible- it’s part of a mini complex with 4 other houses, and it was just amazing. Mind you, their dogs kept coming to me, and most of you know I’m quite the cat person. Funny how that always happens! I had a wonderful time with the family Friday night for Shabbat. Ian then dropped us off back at the hotel, and I went to bed.
The next morning I woke up pretty early to go see Mom give her lecture at the South African Hypertension Society meeting. It was very interesting, and she spoke very well! Ian even surprised us by dropping in for the talk before he headed to the hospital for his ward rounds. I believe he enjoyed the lecture as well. My throat has been bothering me for a couple of days, and after the talk I wasn’t feeling so great, so Ian brought me back to the hotel, and mom came back after her other lecture. The reception of the hotel kicked me out of the room at exactly 12, so I quickly packed all our things, and then sat in the sun again. Once mom came back, we arranged to go to Hyde Park shopping centre- it used to be my mother’s favorite. The receptionist and the lady in charge of transport from the hotel were honestly 2 of the most stupid people I have ever encountered. Even the man who drove us joke about them.. everytime his phone rang he would say yes shelley? and we knew it was her. At the shopping centre, we walked around and got some things- I made a point of it to go to Pick n Pay ( grocery store) to take pictures of all the FLAVORED MILKS THAT NOBODY BELIEVES ME ABOUT! That’s right! They had cream soda, bubblegum, marshmallow, toffee, and many other flavors….. and now I have proof! hehehehe. After lunch, we headed back to the hotel to gather our things and head to the airport. There was a lot of traffic, but we made it here on time. Again, the people here are quite slow. I think they’re on a bit of a power high, and like pushing their weight around.. oh well.
Now, I am sitting with my mother at the airport lounge. Her flight is in an hour or so, and mine is in… 5. This is going to be a long wait!
I thought I was going to write about my reflections of my time in SA in this post, but I think I want to think and let it digest a bit more.
But, from what I can see, this place has changed quite a bit since I last remembered it, but it’s also the same in so many ways. Am I happy I came back? Absolutely. Do I feel that I covered all the things I wanted to cover while here? No. There are still many things that I want to see and experience. I didn’t have a chance to see my old school, my old house, my grandparents house… all the things that are personal to ME. It was nice to revisit some of the familiar things that brought back memories, but I want more. This trip hasn’t quenched my thirst to know more about SA, but it was definately a great experience. I saw many people I haven’t seen in years, and was in the environment in which I feel so a part of. It’s quite funny that I feel more at home here than I do in Canada. I can’t explain it. Even though I grew up in Canada, lived most of my life there, and love it there, I still don’t consider it my home. I’ll always be an outsider there, one way or another. I won’t and don’t always fit in, because I am from somewhere completely different- different values, different traditions, different customs.. things Canadians will never understand. So, in a way, as much as I love Canada, I don’t think I’ll ever, fully, belong.
~SJJT.
Nicky, Tassie, Swim Gala
Day 2: The day started off with a lovely breakfast with mum. I spent most of the morning waiting for a phone call at the hotel, but due to some miscommunication, my original plans fell through.
Luckily, one of our oldest family friends, Nicky and his wife Natalie , invited me to join him and his family to go see his oldest daughter, Nastasia (age 10), at her swimming gala. He picked me up from the hotel in his suave vintage alpha romeo 2 seater convertible, and we head for the private all girls school St Mary’s. The swim gala was held at the pool of Nastasia’s amazing school- it’s not like any of the schools we have back home. The campus is bigger than McGill’s campus- has 4 soccer fields, an olympic sized pool, 10 tennis courts, different buildings for different subjects… all amazing. I couldn’t believe it when we first drove in. The gala was a school based competition for grades 4-7, and was divided based on their houses. We were routing for the Zebras, who unfortunately came in third place (out of four). Nastasia won all her races though, and was quite the little champ.
After the gala, we headed back to Nicky and Natalie’s beautiful (and ginormous) home in Santon- the richest suburb in Johannesburg. I met mum there, seeing she spent the day at Wits. The amount of money within this little suburb is more than the whole country’s combined (from what I hear). Their home had a beautiful field garden, with fountains, a tennis court, a pool, courtyards… stunning. We were joined by Natalie’s lovely sister Vanessa, Husband Renee, and their mother( I can’t remember her name). Nicky and Natalie’s other 2 daughters, Nickaela (7) and Nia (4), also joined us. They are just too sweet. But, the highlight of the evening, was suprising Nicky’s mother, Tassie. I have known Tassie since I was born- she’s a second grandmother to me, but greek. My mother and Nicky didn’t tell her I was coming, and she was so suprised and happy to see me. It was such a nice experience. The last time I saw her was when I was last year ( but I don’t really remember). What I do remember is when we would go to her beautiful house for lunch, and eat olives and cheese pies. I also remember putting sugar in my tea for the first time there, and absolutely loving it… ( This was all when I was 4!!) Tassie was my father’s old patient and neighbour, and we became friendly with her family when my brother was born- she was the only one who could put him to sleep ( he was a bit of a manic baby- always hyper, would drive my parents around the bend), so Tassie was like a Godsend for them. Ever since, she has been part of our family’s life. She hasn’t changed one bit from my memories. I had such a great time.
We ate the delicious homecooked dinner all outside- the night was cool and calm, and it was so nice. It reminded me of when we would eat outside in our old home in Bruma. No bugs, no wind, no noise- just perfect.
We ended the night by making plans to see Tassie again for the following day0, and then Nicky drove us back to the hotel. En route, we stopped at this luxurious center called Melrose. Basically, its a rich, yuppy, closed off community, consisting of beautiful apartment buildings, shops, fancy restaurants… all costing ridiculous amounts of money. Many people decide to move there, and spend most of their days in the little utopia, remaining blissfully ignorant about the reality of what’s really happening in South Africa. Everything they need is in there, so why bother with the real world? A sort of fantasy world I suppose.
After experiencing a bit of the daily life here, I can’t help but wonder just how different my life would have been should we have decided to stay in SA. The heaps of luxurious living, open space, greeness… would it have been worth it? It all seems so magnificent from the exterior, but there’s more to it that many tend to turn their cheek to. The idea of never being able to walk around the block, take a bus, go out alone… to always live in fear, to be confined to certain places and areas for mere safety, not having to always wonder what happened to someone should I not hear from them… I suppose one adapts in order to cope, and the notion that life must go on is very apparent here. I think it would have been a totally different life.
~SjjT
Killarney, NikNaks, Uncle Bernard
Part 2 of my first day was exciting. After spending the morning relaxing by the pool with my pelican buddy ( he was actually too funny to watch- he would keep splashing himself with the water and losing balance, so he would flap his wings to try and not fall in- I got a video of it!), I head with Mama to Killarney mall- to give you all a better idea of what Killarney is back home, it’s like an upscale version of Rockland.
We went to the well known South African store WoolWorths where we reminisced about old memories. After a coffee, we went to buy some South African goodies we can’t get back home- the long awaited Biltong and Droerwors were bought ( get excited Josh and Dad if you’re reading this, and for those of you who don’t know what these are, go wikipedia it), some of my mom’s favorite peanut brittle, tea, niknaks ( equivalent to cheesies back home, but oh so much better here), some nougat ( again, for you Josh 
), and some smelly stuff. So much fun- the last time I remember being in WoolWorths must have been when I last time came to SA (more than 10 years ago… eeek!) with my grandparents. Much has changed- it’s more chique and fancier than I remember.
It’s funny how so many of my memories are brought back to me by scent and taste. Certain foods bring back memories from when I was little, before I even left SA, and smells too, especially when I’m outside. Mom and I were discussing how interesting it is that people relate many memories with taste and smell, and even sound. More so than visual. I was discussing with my Dad over email, and I think that these senses are stronger than visual for memory, since we are constantly overwhelmed with visual inputs, making us grasp onto our other senses as a sort of anchor for our memories. What do you think? (maybe my psychology buddies have some input about this )
Driving through Johannesburg was also quite an experience- on the one hand, there were so many of these over packed vans with people, while on the other hand there are so many fancy BMWs, Audis and Mercedes.. It really boggles my mind- how can people afford such luxurious cars in this country, when there’s so much debt and trouble? It doesn’t make sense to me… I just wonder how legit they really are… I think many of them are stolen, or… I don’t even know.
Another thing I noticed while in the car was the number of beggars in the street- well.. maybe not BEGGARS, but definately homeless. It saddened me. And what’s interesting is that they are not only black people( historically speaking, apartheid ended 15 years ago, and the majority of poor people in South Africa were unfortunately black people, while the white people were the more affluent ones), but there were many white people also. From what I hear, many white people have lost jobs to black people after the apartheid, based on rights of race and not necessarily on merit.. a sort of reverse discrimination. In some ways it was the right thing to do, but in many cases it left many of these white people with no job or income. I don’t really know what to say about the whole situation, there’s pros and cons for both sides I guess. Though, this might be one possible reason why the infrastructure in South Africa isn’t as strong as it could be.. seeing that many jobs are based on rights of race and not necessarily talent and merit. I don’t really know. But it was weird to see- the last time I was here, only 5 years after the apartheid system fell, it wasn’t quite the same. The last time I was here, I would see white people everywhere. I can imagine it might be a bit hard for some of you to imagine, but when you are from South Africa, and you were constantly surrounded by white people and became used to it, it’s a strange feeling to barely see any white people now. Well, I guess this is how it’s meant to be, seeing it’s Africa! I love it though. It’s funny to feel like a minority. An interesting feeling. It wasn’t always like this, even when I was last here, and that’s why it’s so different for me. It’s just interesting to see how much has really changed.
Once we came back to the hotel, we had dinner with my Great Uncle Bernard ( my Zaida’s brother) and his lovely girlfriend/fiance Daphne. The last time I remember seeing Uncle Bernard was before I left SA, my brother and I were in his backyard climbing his plum tree and picking all the delicious fruit. I think Bobba used to make jam out of it. It was really nice seeing Uncle B after so many years. He looks exactly like my Zaida but with a Moustache. He was full of energy, and very chatty. It was so great seeing him and catching up with him. From what I hear, I just missed my other cousins from California by a couple of weeks ( his daughter and her kids). It would have been nice to see them too ( I can’t even remember when the last time was when I saw them… maybe when I was like, 2?!). After a pleasant evening with Uncle B and Daphne, I spoke with Eran and Dad on the phone, and then hit the sack. It’s so funny that I really don’t have any problem with the jetlag- I thought I would, but I don’t!
With some reflection, I still can’t believe that I am actually here. The atmosphere, the people, everything is SO different to back home, and the memories keep flooding my mind. There is such a sense of non-urgency here, so laid back. At the same time, with the same attitude, one can understand the frustration of many as to why the advancement of this country is so slow.
Also, there’s such a sense of humility here. Such friendliness, and warmth. Even in the restaurant, we saw some of the waiters eating from the buffet in the dining room, and it made me feel happy that they sat in the same room as the guests (not while it was full of course hehe)- such an element of humanity, equality. You would never, ever see this back home in Canada. Funny, don’t you think?
Lots of love
~ SjjT
